Gwyneth Paltrow’s $75 Vagina-Scented Candle Is the Goop-iest Thing Ever

If you’re someone who happens to be curious about what a vagina smells like in candle form, well… you’re in luck — I guess? — because Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop is selling a $75 candle that “smells like my vagina.”

Yes, friends, this is real. And step aside, jade egg, because this may well be the Goop-iest thing ever sold on Goop.

The website describes the “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle, by Heretic, like this: “With a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent, this candle is made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed to put us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.”

Over on the Heretic website, it’s described as follows: “Imagine a bundle of roses wrapped in suede… This limited edition candle evokes sensuality, warmth, and intrigue. It’s a voluptuous scent of fantasy and seduction. Made with a combination of natural and safe synthetic fragrance materials blended in vegetable wax with a lead-free cotton wick.”

Heretic perfumer Douglas Little is the nose behind other Goop fragrance collaborations, and as described on Goop, Little and Paltrow “share a passion for scent. ‘We sit on the floor and geek out on fragrance,’” according to Paltrow herself.

Reportedly, it started as a joke, when Paltrow and Little were, we can only assume, “geeking out” on a fragrance and she said, “Uhhh … this smells like a vagina.”

Well, okay then. We can’t confirm or deny, because — much like my own vagina — this candle is unavailable for purchase. (At the moment, anyway. The candle, that is.) It’s sold out on both Goop’s and Heretic’s websites, but never fear: If you absolutely must know if this home decor accessory really smells like a vagina, you can be added to the waitlist.

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