I found out my cousin is actually my half-sister but my mum who lives in the US is ignoring us

DEAR DEIDRE: I JUST found out my cousin is actually my half-sister.

My cousin was adopted by my aunt and uncle and we were always close.

I’m a woman of 50 and have a brother of 52. My cousin is 60 and lives locally.

Her adopted parents died last year and she found her birth certificate with my mum named as her mother.

She phoned me to drop the bombshell but is delighted.

Mum, who’s 78, lives in the US and didn’t reply to a letter from my “cousin”. Should I talk to her or stay out of it?

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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s great you and your cousin feel happy about this but it may still upset your mother to talk about it. Attitudes were very different back then.

Tell her you know and are delighted. Encourage her to see a counsellor rather than bottling up her secret but reassure her you won’t say anything about it to your brother.

PAC-UK helps those affected by adoption (pac-uk.org, 020 7284 5879).

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