I wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for Deidre — her support saved me
DEAR DEIDRE: THANK you for saving my life. I sent you an email in 2017 saying: “I think my husband is abusing me.”
I was with my husband for 20 years and over that time, bit by bit, he chipped away at my self-confidence until he was 100 per cent controlling me. I was so confused and scared that in the end I didn’t know where to turn.
When I sent you that email in the summer of 2017 I was 40 and sitting on my bedroom floor in tears, praying my life would end.
I couldn’t live any more. I was unable to understand what was going on and I reached out to you.
Your supportive and informative reply was the beginning of the end of my very abusive and controlling relationship.
I left with nothing and he took the decision then to have nothing to do with our three children, then all under 11. Even though I have no lovely home and no material things, I have my life, and three years on, my children and I are so much better.
My fond farewell
THIS is my last problem page. It’s my New Year’s Eve treat to look back at positive feedback I’ve had from you over the year and to feel proud of how many of you have been in touch. With the help of my brilliant team I’ve responded to thousands of your emails, social media messages and letters. Here are some of this year’s happy outcomes.
May I wish all of you a joyous New Year and a problem-free 2021. If you do have a worry, the Dear Deidre page and service are continuing, now led by the lovely Sally Land. The team will answer urgent problems during the holiday period. Thank you all, and goodbye.
If I hadn’t had you to reach out to and if you hadn’t emailed me back, I don’t think I would be alive today.
I thank you so much for all you did and I would urge anyone who is confused by a partner, always made to feel bad, always upset, to reach out as I did to you, Deidre — call a helpline, speak to a friend.
You deserve better, and your life does get better after you leave an abuser.
DEIDRE SAYS: You bring tears to my eyes. I am so glad my response helped but the real credit is down to you.
I can signpost to sources of guidance and support but you were the one who found the courage and determination to leave your abusive husband, which was vital for you, and just as crucially, for your children’s safety and wellbeing.
My e-leaflet Abusive Partner? details helping organisations and a good starting point is to contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline. See nationaldahelpline.org.uk or call 0808 2000 247.
NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE Deidre wrote to me several times this year to make sure I was OK
READ DEIDRE'S CLASSIC PHOTO CASEBOOK Carrie's pal snogs the man she fancies at the Christmas do
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