I've left my abusive boyfriend but I'm still paying all of his bills

DEAR DEIDRE: I FINALLY managed to leave an abusive boyfriend but I am still supporting him financially. 

We were together for 18 months. He took it badly when I moved out so I promised I would still be there for him.


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I am 28 and he’s 26. I always had to take responsibility for the money and resented it. It caused a lot of our rows, when he would turn violent.

He has tried to change but he can’t afford his rent.

I am in debt myself and cannot afford to pay for two households. I have taken out cash loans as the bank will not help me any more.

This situation seems like it’s never going to end but I feel responsible for him.

DEIDRE SAYS: It may help you stop carrying him to realise that you are damaging his future as well as your own.

You are enabling him to carry on being financially helpless when he needs to take responsibility.

Tell him you can’t help him any more. You and him should seek help from National Debtline (nationaldebtline.org, 0808 808 4000). My e-leaflet Abusive Partner? can help.

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