Kim is Worried About Kardashian Kids Watching KUWTK — Nori's Black Book Responds
“Was 72 days standard for marriages in 2013? Uncle Rob was on the show? Scott has never had a job?” – North West
The woman behind Nori’s Black Book — a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian’s sassy 7-year-old daughter — continues to bring her talents to TooFab.
Each week, “Nori” recaps new episodes of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
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The episode started with Khloe showing her best friends, Malika and her twin sister Kadijah, the new home she is having built. She wanted to expand her current home, but it just wasn’t possible. Kris was also having a house built right next door. They were both building their dream home. Khloe was excited to be living right next to her mom.
North West: I sent the Malikas to the house to take measurements and get pictures of the progress of the work. Thanks to them we now know how far away the barbecue pavilion needs to be from the pool. I didn’t want the pregnant Malika to breathe in any fumes from the construction at the house and I’m not a monster so I just had her take pictures of the perimeter from the roof.
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At Kim’s house, Kim’s kids were running around trying to be funny for the cameras. Scott asked Kim if North had ever seen any episodes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Kim said she hadn’t but she loved to reenact clips she saw on Tiktok, like Kim crying about her diamond earring in Bora Bora. Scott was thinking that the kids were going to watch the show at some point, but wondered when they should tell them they’re allowed to go through certain seasons or should the kids just watch on their own. Kim didn’t want to have to explain things like Kris Humphries. However, Scott said that Kris Humpries is her life and past, and the kids are going to be interested in seeing everything with or without them. Kim agreed that she wants to watch with her kids, but she’s not ready for the kids to see it yet. She was hesitant because she’s going to have to explain a lot. Scott said he was the one who would have to explain a lot because he was the only person on the show who did bad things. He didn’t think Kim had anything to worry about.
NW: I have watched past seasons (reluctantly) and I have questions:
What happened to QuickTrim?
Who is Joyce Bonelli?
Was 72 days standard for marriages in 2013?
Uncle Rob was on the show?
Scott has never had a job?
Can I have my 21st birthday at Tao?
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At the Malibu Vacation Home, Kris was bothered by the construction noise. The neighbors were in the middle of a construction project and it was too loud for her. Khloe worked hard to calm her down by telling her not to sweat the small stuff. Kris said she was trying to look at the glass half full, but sometimes someone was drinking her lemonade. Khloe was so exhausted by her.
NW: What was the problem. I know Kris wasn’t trying to get work done because I haven’t booked a cover in years. So please tell me what she needs peace and quiet for?
Back at Khloe’s house, Khloe chatted with Tristan and his friend about how her house was sold, but the catch was the new owners wanted to move in within weeks. Khloe said selling the house was bittersweet. The house wasn’t feasible for her anymore because she wants to have another baby. Things were happening fast and she was a little stressed out. Tristan had a plan to fix up his house with elements from Khloe’s house to make her happy, so he went around and took pictures of decor from Khloe’s home.
Later at Khloe’s house, Scott told Kim and Khloe that he wanted the kids to see where they came from, like where they were born and where they used to live. Basically, where they made the most memories. Some places they wanted to take the kids included: Scott and Kourtney’s old condo, Kim’s house in Beverly Hills, and The DASH stores.
NW: I think it’s sweet they wanted to show us where they lived when they were poor.
Kim, Khloe, and Kourt were hanging out at the Malibu Vacation Home and Kourtney asked Kim if she spoke with her nanny. Kim said that her nanny was crying and she thought that she was going to lose her job. The nanny and Kourtney got into a “disagreement” when the family was traveling that involved her son, Reign. The nanny felt so degraded by Kourtney after Kourtney yelled at her. However, Kourtney maintained that the nanny was lying. Kourtney’s son told her that the nanny told him he would go to jail if he talked in the car. Reign is big on Kourtney confronting people in front of him because he wants to know she has his back in front of him. Kim said that it (the conversation) should’ve been in private. Kourtney still insisted she didn’t yell and that in fact her friend who is a pastor was shocked at the way the nanny spoke. Kourtney then doubled down and said that the nanny also said, “boy, you’re a liar!” to her son. Kourtney said she responded with, “Excuse me? You’re going to call a five year-old a liar”. Kim and Khloe looked very unimpressed and unconvinced of Kourtney’s story. Kim said that the Nanny would have appreciated a private conversation. Kourtney wanted to stop talking about it because she didn’t think Kim was getting it. Kim declared that she liked her nanny so she was not going to fire her and she liked to keep her staff for a long time. Kourtney fired back with “She will not ever be around my kids”. Kim came back with, “Kourtney, you can’t even keep a nanny”, which prompted Kourtney to tell Kim to shut the f— up. Kourtney felt like Kim was throwing out (untrue) jabs to intentionally hurt her feelings. Kourtney eventually stormed out.
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NW: Does it get any more unprofessional? The way Auntie Kourtney spoke to my employee was so disrespectful and my nanny does not report to her. I don’t go to the POOSH meeting she has once every other month and tell her employees to stop writing articles about avocados, so don’t try to manage my staff.
Khloe went to check on Kourtney, but Kim wanted her to have her back a little bit. Khloe said she was trying to stay out of it. Khloe found Kourtney was crying in the bathroom. She was upset that Kim would use stuff against her. She questioned why Kim would treat family like that. Kourtney couldn’t be around that energy at that moment, that’s why she wanted to remove herself.
Scott took his kids to the townhouse that he lived in with Kourtney and Khloe. He thought it was a great idea to show his kids the house where their parents started their love affair. They had a great time in that house and had some really big moments in their life. Kim and her kids tagged along as well. The kids were not into it because they were not really around, so they had no memories. Scott wanted to come up with something a little more impactful for the kids, so he decided to sit them down to show them the highlights from the show. They would get more out of that.
NW: Seeing the shoe box they had once lived in wounded me because I finally realized just how poverty stricken this family was before I came along. It had a white refrigerator.
Later Kim showed up at Kourtney’s house to apologize to her. She was sorry for arguing with her and bringing up things that had nothing to do with their fight. Kourtney wondered if Kim was making up things to piss her off or does she actually think she degrades nannies. Kim admitted it was more about pissing her off. Kourtney said it was hurtful and everyone did it in the family. Kourtney used to do it a lot and that’s where Kim learned it. Kourtney learned it from their mom. Kourtney said that the tone doesn’t have to be mean, it’s not a good way to be and as a family they should work on it. Her and Kim needed to work on communication. Kim still sees both sides, the nanny and Kourtney, but she would have handled it better. Kourtney appreciated Kim coming to her to apologize. Kim jokingly said, “fights are our thing!”
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NW: If mommy wanted to make things right with her sister, then I support her. However, I’m telling her now that I’m not tolerating any of this at HULU. Auntie Kourt can keep these games at E!
Khloe was spending her final day in her house. She found a rental right down the street, but moving out was sad for her. The house was the first house she bought on her own. Uprooting to a new house was a lot of change, especially for True. Khloe was hoping that her next house will have more and better memories.
Back at the Malibu Vacation House, Kourtney talked to Khloe and Scott about negativity in the family. She didn’t want to pass it down to the kids. Kourtney suggested a negativity jar, so that whenever someone was being negative, you put money in the jar. Khloe and Scott loved the plan. It was a great visual of how they all could be negative at times. They felt like their negativity stemmed from their mom, but they all needed to be aware of how they talked.
At Tristan’s house, Khloe noticed that Tristan added a lot of Khloe’s touches to his home. He had candles, labels on things in his pantry, his fridge was organized like hers, he had the same champagne glasses, the same flowers, and more. Khloe was a little confused.
Khloe introduced the negativity jar at the Malibu House. While they were at the Malibu House, they were to put money in the jar, with their name stapled to the bills. At the end whoever had their name in the least amount of times gets all the money. It’s not about the money, it’s about bringing awareness to the negative behavior. Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, and Kris agreed they didn’t want to pass on their negativity to the kids. They even played with an idea of a positivity jar.
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NW: Take my money now. I already know how I am.
Tristan met with Kim at her house. Tristan explained that Khloe was suspicious when she saw everything he did with his house that was an exact replica of the things in her house. Khloe thought that Tristan was trying to bite her style, but he just wanted her to feel comfortable. Kim advised him to explain to Khloe that he was trying to make the house cute so she felt welcomed. Almost like an extension of her home. Kim felt bad for Tristan because he tried so hard, but Khloe couldn’t see that. Tristan hoped that after he talked to her she would understand.
Later at Kim’s theater, Scott, Kim, and Kourtney showed their kids highlights of themselves from the show. They got to see Mason being born, but the kids were grossed out. Kourtney was super emotional while seeing the footage. Overall, all the kids seem to enjoy the highlights. It was fun for Kim to relive everything. Scott loved that the kids got a kick out of everything and it brought back a ton of great memories for him.
NW: The only thing I got from watching these highlights is that this show went on too long and it’s been holding me back all these years.
At Tristan’s house, Tristan explained to Khloe that he copied her home ideas because he wanted to surprise her and make his home comfortable for her and True. Khloe apologized if she came across annoyed, because she wasn’t, she was just confused. She thought his efforts were cute and she thanked him. It made her really happy. Tristan wanted to be there as much as he could for Khloe and True. He said that Khloe and Trist were a team.
NW: I have no idea what I was supposed to do with this storyline.
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