Mom shares easy way she stops her kids demanding toys at the store – and it works instantly
GOING to the store with your kids can be a total hassle because they either refuse to stay close to you the whole time or they want you to buy every right on site.
Instead of triggering a tantrum because you refuse to buy them that shiny new toy, this mom has found the perfect way to acknowledge their desire for the toy without having to actually get it.
Mom and psychologist Nicole DiMarco revealed in a video that when she and her children are out at a store and they want a toy, she will simply tell them Santa Clause is getting it for them.
She said that she first "validates their interest in the toy" before snapping a pic of them holding the desired toy.
She will make sure to show them the picture, so they don't think she's fooling them.
She will then "text" Santa Clause to let him know that they want this toy, but in reality, she's putting it in a photo folder so she knows what to get them for any big celebrations, birthdays, and holidays.
Many parents praised her for the genius idea in the comment section of her video, but one demanded to know why no wasn't enough.
She said that she will tell the kids no when it's appropriate, but the act of validating their interest in the toy will make them feel heard and not dismissed.
Another mom also showed off the way she stops her son from having meltdowns in the supermarket if he can't get something he wants.
Tiktok star Amanda Bouldin said it was all about making them think they have control.
She revealed that invites them to make their own lists before leaving the house, naming a favorite treat or two that they'd like to add to the shopping cart the most.
"The list allows them to feel heard by picking an item – [they'll] feel grown up and a part of making decisions," she revealed.
"It also shows them I have to follow a list and it's hard for me too!"
In fact, Amanda chuckled that we actually have more in common with our kids in that regard than we think.
"Can we just be honest for a second – how many times have you been in [the supermarket] with a list of what you were supposed to get and then walked out with other things?" she challenged.
"It's natural – we do it [and our kids] want it too – it just looks different."
Encouraging your kids to make a list alongside you helps to hone emerging skills of focus and discipline – and it also engages their logical brain, to prevent them from getting over-emotional, irrational, and vulnerable to having another tantrum.
"We can look but we're only getting what's on our list because that's what we need – if we find something else we have to add it to a list for another time or an upcoming occasion," she rationalized.
Joining in with list-making makes children feel as if they have a "purpose" and are being invited into an adult activity, so are likely to throw their efforts into helping mum.
Making lists for the future also comforts kids with the reassurance that even if they don't get it today, they have another occasion when they can look forward to receiving the treat instead.
Amanda lets the children take responsibility for their favorite buy, revealing: "I let them grab their item. They get to put it in the cart, they get to be in charge."
This way, they are no longer passively being dragged around the supermarket – instead, they have an important helping role, which will engage them in a positive way.
She even emulates her kids' behavior, then showing that she understands it and relates to it in her own day-to-day feelings too.
"Sometimes I'll pick up something, [saying], "Oh, I really want it but that's not on our list' – it makes them feel less alone," she explained.
The approach doesn't eliminate tantrums completely of course – but it "helps a lot to calm them down when they're upset."
Plus Amanda is not totally immune to their cravings, sometimes throwing in an unexpected "small treat" before it's time for the checkout.
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