My lover says that he wants a baby with me even though he has a pregnant wife | The Sun
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I found out my lover’s wife was pregnant, the last thing I expected was for him to say he wanted a baby with me instead.
While I’ve always wanted a child of my own, I can’t help but feel like I’d be signing myself up for a life of single motherhood.
He’s 31, I’m 28, we’ve been seeing each other in secret for more than two years.
We first met at university when we used to run in the same crowds — and we would often share drunken kisses on nights out.
We’d lost touch completely until he sent me a Facebook request and we reconnected online.
At first, I thought it was innocent, just two old friends catching up.
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However, as time went on the messages got more frequent. Then one night we met for drinks.
When I saw him it brought back a whirlwind of emotions, and I couldn’t help but be drawn to him instantly.
Next thing I knew we’d fallen into bed with each other, and since then we haven’t been able to stop.
I hadn’t signed up to start an affair, but I couldn’t help but fall in love.
Despite being married, he had assured me he would end it with her.
However, last week when I was scrolling on Facebook, a photo of a baby scan popped up on my screen.
It was his wife announcing she was five months pregnant with a baby girl. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
When I spoke to him about it, he told me that he couldn’t possibly leave her now, but that all he wanted was for me to have a baby boy with him instead.
He insists that he wants to spend his life with me and start a family of our own, but I’m finding it hard to believe that it will ever happen.
What should I do?
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While it’s clear you have feelings for one another, to protect yourself please end this relationship.
This man is incapable of fully devoting himself to his wife and child, or you.
He isn’t being realistic. He can’t stay with his wife and have a full or meaningful life with you.
Having a baby with him would not only be unfair to you and your child-to-be, but also to his wife and unborn baby.
You deserve a man who is free and dedicated to you, and this relationship is only holding you back.
I’m attaching my support packs Your Lover Not Free and Moving On to help guide you through this time.
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